When I decided this was my plan – my for sure plan – a good friend (who is pregnant right now!) suggested I just go off the pill. Like, right now. I thought “oh, no, that’s….” and then started counting the months – it would be 6 months before I was turning 35 when we talked in early May. And I realized, oh – oh shit! If I’m supposed to go off the pill for 3 months before I get inseminated, and then we don’t hit it on the first round, I’m not going to have much time. So, I went off the pill after my period. When I spoke to my Gynecologist about this before, back when the 2nd husband and I split up, she said they usually want you to go off your birth control pill and track your cycle for like 3 months before you even have your first consultation. So I figured, go off now and call to make an appointment.

I assumed they wouldn’t be scheduling them for a few months anyway. When I called Tennessee Reproductive Medicine they offered for me to have an appointment the following Monday.

Wow. Uh. Oh. Well, okay. Sure. It eventually got rescheduled to May 19th. It also turns out that a girl I go to CrossFit with works there, so I’ve been talking to her about that for a while.

Here’s the thing about the pill. I’ve got lots of friends who HATE it. HATE IT. It ruins their lives, it makes them miserable, whatever it is. I’ve been on the pill since I was 15 (minus a hiatus discussed below) and have never had any issue.  So, going off the pill wasn’t a relief as much as a weird new experience – I just assumed nothing would be different.

When I went off the pill before (between the first two marriages), I felt like a cat in heat – all the time. I made terrible decisions and was very displeased to find that my steady 3-day period from 15 years on the pill  was now a 5 day long surprise event with no notice. Being birth control free was NOT for me. So I went back on.  

This time when I went off, it felt like an adventure. Like, oh, okay, so I’m really going to do this. I didn’t feel as much the way I expect every teenage boy must feel all the time (which I never realized and now I feel really bad for them) as I did hopeful and excited about what that step would mean was really going to happen.