(photo above is a tiny version of me)

Well, I’m not entirely sure how you choose a donor. Right now, I’m “window shopping” my way around the sperm bank website. When I looked into this process a few years ago, it seemed overwhelming and terrifying. Plus, one of the things I remember specifically was that the people that worked at the bank would list descriptions of the guys – which gave you a strange mix of feeling like their mother had written their dating profiles (“he’s a tall, handsome, brunette”) and that they might all be serial killers (“he has kind eyes!” = freezer full of bodies!).

So I wondered, back then, how would I explain to a child one day what made me choose Donor 64466 over Donor 64472? Now that it’s actually happening, I’m pretty sure it’ll be a process – God help us all, I may make a spreadsheet to compare and contrast these guys.

People seem really interested in what kind of information is available about these guys. So far, it looks like each donor profile has the following:

Childhood Photo

Description (written by staff maybe?)

Donor-Look-A-Likes (these are, I assume, in place of a photo of the donor at present)

Donor Type: Open or Anonymous

Appearance

Heritage

Education

Clinical

Fun Facts (favorite animal, fantasy lunch, dream destination)

Then they have the following options to download:

Donor Profile (stat sheet – includes fun facts like “can barely replace a light bulb” to “I can fix anything”)

Medical History (people have asked if these guys lie – I don’t know, but there is a lot of information on here that I doubt they’d bother to add if they were trying to be squirrely)

Genetic Test Summary

Donor Personal Essay

Staff Impressions

Let me take a second here to talk about the Anonymous vs Open idea. I just ran into this option and realized it was something to consider. Open is described as a donor who, at the beginning of the process, decides that he is willing to be contacted and communicate at least once with the child. Also it automatically registers the child in the free sibling registry. Now, I feel strongly about raising this child on my own. But I also don’t like the idea of NOT giving kiddo the option to get in touch. Seems like if I can find a donor I like with this option, at least it’s out there – if kiddo doesn’t want to dig in, they don’t have to.

So, it’s like online dating – except there’s about 1,000x more information, a childhood photo, and you’re choosing the father of your child, forever. And if you’re really curious, you can go online and sign up with the cryobank for a free membership and see all of this stuff for yourself.

As of now, all I know is I am looking for someone over 5’10” (sorry guys, but I’m only 5’0” and this poor kid needs some hope) and has checked the box for “open” donor status. At the moment, I’m hunting baby photos that look like my baby photos so that maybe a little one would look a little bit like me.

Looks like it’s almost time to make a spreadsheet. Ha ha ha ha. Ugh.