Week One: Everyone keeps asking me “So, do you feel pregnant yet?”

My answer is mostly “Uhhh… I dunno?”

I don’t take a pregnancy test until Sunday the 21st, at the earliest. And there’s something kind of nice about not knowing. Much like my CPA exam result waiting period, it’s either going to happen or it won’t, and there’s not much I can do about it but wait. There’s a nice feeling of being out of control of this. It’s only the first week, but for now, I like not knowing.

The doctor said, “Live your life like normal. Don’t party like a rockstar or anything, but just do whatever you normally do.” So I have been – minus a few things. No drinking, no coffee, no raw sushi, no deli meat.

There have been some things that might point to a positive test on the 21st. Or maybe they’re just nothing.

1. On Sunday and Monday, I was really tired and cranky. Of course, I had also been up at 5am Saturday for the yard sale and went to bed late and didn’t get to sleep in on Sunday either. Maybe baby?

2. On Monday night, I had some weird crampy feelings. I’ve been told that implantation can cause some crampy feelings. Maybe baby?

3. Every morning this week, I’ve wanted chocolate milk. So I’ve been making protein shakes for breakfast. The thing is, I’ve been trying to make myself drink protein shakes for breakfast forever and I can never force myself to do it. But this week it’s all I’ve wanted and it’s been enough to keep me full. Maybe baby?

4. On Wednesday, I had a long workout and then went back to the office. Hot and tired, I popped open a diet coke. Normally I have two or more a day if they’re around but haven’t had any since Saturday. I grew up with Tab and although I’ve tried to quit diet coke over and over, every time I go back it’s still delicious nectar from the gods. The diet coke was gross. It tasted bitter and I didn’t even want it. Maybe baby?

5. Last night I finally decided to get some ice cream, which I’ve been putting off for days even though I’ve been jonesing for sugar. Dove into the chocolate chip last night and it tasted flat and weird. Maybe baby?

Or maybe none of those things matter and this time it didn’t work. Who knows. I’ve never been pregnant before and most women don’t even know they’re pregnant a week out! And, of course, every pregnancy is different. So. We’ll see.