So you know that thing where you’re like “oh, it’ll be fine”? I was hoping that was what today was going to end up with. I was hoping I’d had enough water (multiple hundreds of ounces sine Monday) to bring up kiddo’s baby pool and we’d all smile and laugh about how I wasn’t very good at being hydrated and I’d do better going forward. And then I’d have some new awesome ultrasound photos and be on my way back to the gym and regular life.

I DID get some new pictures – here’s an ultrasound of her tiny face and hands. Although it’s ever so slightly skeletal and creepy, it’s also pretty cute.

But, of course, it didn’t quite go the way I was hoping. Turns out my fluid is still low and apparently she only weighs 2lbs 7oz, when she “SHOULD” weigh at least 3lbs.

So what does that mean? Well, theoretically, sometimes babies are just small. I was small (showed up at 5lbs 3 oz) but I don’t know what the donor’s birth weight was and at this point most of the doctors are shrugging that off anyway – now it’s just a question of how fast and how much she grows.

While the doctor didn’t tell me to go on bed rest (that’s good), he did tell me I need to take in more calories – specifically protein – that I should start having an extra protein shake in the morning and at night. He said to keep on drinking lots of fluid as well, and when I asked about the gym (because he didn’t mention it) he said I should probably hold off for now.

He wants to monitor her closely so I’ll be seen by doctors twice a week – once at the High Risk and once with my regular doctor. Monday I’ll go for a stress test (see if I’m having any contractions, heart rate for the baby, watching for movement) at the regular doc and then back next Wednesday at High Risk for another ultrasound. He said we’d monitor her for the next two weeks and if she didn’t look like she was gaining weight, or if she started to get smaller, I’d be headed to the hospital to be monitored constantly.

Uhh…. That sounds pretty serious to me.

So I’m currently torn on it. On one hand, I’m worried and sad about the fact that there are any problems at all. He said it may be a problem with her placenta, but that it might just be that I’m not taking in enough calories. He said the answer wasn’t to go home and gorge myself (he said I’d definitely get bigger but she might not) but instead to pay attention to protein and water intake. He also said to pay attention to her movements – make sure she’s moving at least 10 times in a 2 hour period at night and in the mornings and in general throughout the day. Well, while I was waiting on him to come in, she was kicking all over the place – so much that I could see my stomach moving – so that’s reassuring.

On the other hand, if all this means is that I have to eat more and have doctors watch her more closely, I suppose that’s not too bad. Having been nervous the entire time that I would gain too much weight, coupled with the fact that I simply haven’t been hungry, has meant that the measly four pounds I’ve gained felt like an accomplishment to me. Oops! It figures, I guess. I feel like I’ve spent the last 35 years eating like I’m pregnant and the last 6 months eating like a normal person. Strange the way things work, I guess.

Luckily, I have a great group of friends and family – having close friends who have been through High Risk pregnancies means they’ve got lots of things to share  (“oh, I had that”) and I get to see their kids who are perfectly fine now to remind myself it’ll be okay. I’ll be taking my birth coach along with me next time around so she can look at all the numbers and pay attention since I’m not always a great listener (she asked what my AFI number was today and I had no idea – it all just looked like a huge amount of numbers and abbreviations to me). It also helps that we’re into the 3rd trimester, so if things went TERRIBLY wrong and she had to arrive considerably ahead of time, we’re out of the super-scary period.

Thanks for all the kind thoughts that are headed our way. I feel like this kid already has a fan club and cheerleader base far larger than most. We’ll keep you posted!