So today I went back to my OB to have the strangely named “non-stress test” for kiddo to watch her heart rate, movement, and see if I’m having any contractions. I have multiple friends who told me what this involved and that it wasn’t scary and not to worry. They have you sit down and they strap some monitors onto your belly and monitor baby’s heart rate for 15-20 minutes, no big deal. I’ve been paying some attention at appointments when I’ve been told that her heart rate “looks perfect” in the 140’s and 150’s, so I had some measurement to consider.

I’d spent the weekend taking it pretty easy (we DID go to a soccer game, but I stood calmly when I wasn’t walking to and from the bathroom) while adding two protein shakes a day and over 100 oz of water to my diet (bathroom). I was sad this morning when I got on the scale after making a CONSCIOUS effort to eat more to find that I was a pound down from the weight I’d been sitting at before. I wrote it off to all the water I’d been drinking, and had a big breakfast plus my protein shake this morning before the appointment.

Got to the appointment and started telling the nurse how the high risk doctor’s appointment had gone and felt myself getting a little panicky. She took my blood pressure and said “oh, hmm, you ARE a little nervous… we’ll just take this again later.” Then we went back to another room which had two (very comfortable) leather recliners where I sat and she strapped a couple of monitors onto my stomach. We kept losing the baby’s heartbeat as she shuffled around (good job on the moving, kiddo) but eventually found it. Somewhere in here, she took my blood pressure again and looked a little concerned. So then she said “okay, I’m going to leave you in here for about 15 minutes and then your doctor will come by to check it out.”

In that 15 minutes I immediately started chatting it up with a friend via text message but was constantly watching the monitor jump around – 130’s, 140’s, 150’s, 160’s – beep beep beep. I wasn’t sure if the higher rates were bad or not, and whenever it dipped low I worried. She shuffled around, doing lots of moving, which also changed the rates the monitor reported. The other number was shuffling around too – and I wasn’t sure what that meant.

After a bit, my doctor came by, nodding and looking at the monitor. She said baby looked great – she said “this is just right, everything looks fine here.” And then she asked what the high risk doctor had said – because apparently they hadn’t sent over any notes. I started telling her about more water, adding calories through protein, etc and she asked “are you still at work?” At work? OF COURSE I’M AT WORK. I looked confused – I explained that I’d had to ASK the other doctor about exercise and he hadn’t seemed very concerned but had told me to hold off. She had an eyebrow up. She asked if I’d been having headaches, explaining that my blood pressure was high.

I said no, no headaches and that I was sure my blood pressure was high because I was a little panicky and strapped to these machines but all I could think was “oh my god what if I can’t go back to work? I have to train someone and I haven’t even started and and and…” She nodded, held my hand reassuringly, and said “well, that might be the case, but I’m going to need to see it go down or we’re going to have to send you downtown to be monitored.”

ACK! WHAT?! I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! They took it again and guess what? Oh, it was EVEN HIGHER. I was like “okay, look, let me go to the bathroom and get out of these monitors, and give me a minute.” I sat in an empty room repeating to myself that the doctor had said the test went great and to just chill out. Shockingly, telling yourself to calm down isn’t always very effective.

Luckily, I DID chill out and my blood pressure went down within 15 minutes and the nurse was happy to tell me I was free to go. The GOOD news is that Ember seems to be doing alright and I’m not having any contractions or anything. Now if I can just stay calm, that would be great. In general I haven’t felt terribly panicky, but too many things piled up today all at once.

It reminds me of another unrelated-to-pregnancy lesson I once learned: If You Pass Out On A Paramedic, They WILL Take You To The Hospital, No Matter How Many Times You Explain It’s Really No Big Deal And You’re Fine.  Just FYI.