Last night went very well as compared to Fussy Baby the night before. Ember was up every two hours to eat, which was a little bit tiring since she’s usually on a three hour rotation, but if it means she’s eating more, I’m all for it. It turns out I was pretty tired by the 7am feeding though. 

I’ve been fastidiously boiling bottles and nipples and accessories to avoid anything getting dirty or making kiddo sick. I’ve heard soapy warm water works, but boiling things for a few minutes has been pretty simple since my system goes: feed the baby, change the baby, drop items into pot, boil, turn off, drain, let dry.

But when you’re tired, sometimes you miss a step. So this morning I woke up to smoke and smoke alarms blaring at 7:30 – apparently the “turn off” portion of my process had been missed after she ate and not only had the pot boiled over, the plastic parts for my breast pump had melted entirely, filling the house with burnt plastic flavored smoke.  Panicked, I jumped up to run to the kitchen. In the process, I slipped and crashed out on the floor, skinning my knees and cracking the shit out of my elbow. I got the stove turned off, ran the smoking pot outside, and then tried to clear out the smoke. I ran back to check on Ember, who was in her bassinet not moving. I flipped out, and stirred her and she woke up but went back to sleep. The kid had slept through the whole thing! Ofourse, the alarms were still going off, so then I realized I’d better turn them off. Being short, turning off smoke alarms is more complicated than one might think, but eventually I got them to shut up.

The rest of the morning was opening windows, turning on fans, and trying to get the Eu Du Burnt Plastic out of the house. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that my breast pump pieces were gone. I was just so glad everyone was okay. I got in touch with a friend (who’s been puking all morning, poor thing) to tell her what happened. Then I thought to look online and see if any local stores had my parts – but of course not. So I went to Amazon and ordered replacement parts – to arrive Monday.

Being me, laughing at how ridiculous the whole thing was, I posted an update on Facebook with this photo of my dear sleepy peaceful baby as smoke alarms went off and the world melted down around her:

People commented that there was no reason to boil bottles all the time, that warm soapy water was fine, and recommending microwave steamer bags – which I had but hadn’t bothered to use. A few minutes later, my friend Suzanne knocked on my front door with a box full of steam bags. She just handed them to me. We both laughed and I waved sheepishly to her husband in the driveway.

Ashley and John are yard sale professionals, and she ran across the exact same pump in a “free” bin just a few minutes after she heard about my exciting morning – so she’s going to bring that up this afternoon. I was so amazed and excited.

Ember and I are so lucky to have so many of you watching out for us, commiserating, and laughing along the way with us. Thank you.