Today Ember is one month old. All those things people say are true: she’s already so different than she was when we came home.  We both are I guess – I’ve stopped writing down every time she eats and every diaper change, which was something we had to do in the beginning since she wasn’t eating enough – not just because I’m nuts. I’m calmer, when she cries it doesn’t cause a total panic – and we’re getting out and about on a daily basis. We’ve been on a few walks in the stroller with friends, gone to run errands and had lots of visitors. We’ve been busy but it’s also nice and quiet in the in between space. We spend time on the couch, watch a lot of Netflix, snuggle and hang out. 

I’ve started giving her formula late at nights to help her sleep and me remain calm – trying to go through the entire process at 3am was starting to make me totally insane. I’ve got a freezer stash building up of milk for her for later, which also makes me feel less panicky and we’re on a good routine. People can help feed her while I take it easy or nap, she’s happy and full and getting bigger every day. 

Overall, having survived a month, I think we’re doing great. 90% of the time, everything is amazing and blissful and wonderful. 10% of the time it’s crazy-making and hard. This are pretty good odds, in my opinion and I’m lucky to have her. She’s the best.