Here we are. The night before we meet Zora. Kevin and I both are going back and forth between being nervous and just trying not to think about what is happening tomorrow.

I’ve found myself feeling sad but I really think it’s just fear of change. I told Kevin tonight that I felt like we’d really JUST gotten into the swing of things and now it’s all going to be different. But isn’t that how life is?

I got my pre-surgery bloodwork done today and spent a lot of yesterday running around. But this afternoon Ember and I spent at least an hour in the bed in Zora’s room just snuggling and watching videos on my phone. She’s annoyed at the fact that my lap doesn’t exist anymore but enjoys the part where I’m far more likely to say “yes let’s go get in the bed!” than normal.

Kevin said he talked to her for a while today and feels like although she doesn’t REALLY know what’s happening tomorrow, she’s aware of the game plan. Mommy’s got Baby Zora in her tummy and tomorrow Mommy goes to the doctor who is going to take Baby Zora out of her tummy and then everyone will get to meet her.

She talks about being excited and being a big sister. We will see how it shakes out. I am hopeful that the gifts we’ve gotten for Ember “from” Baby Zora will be a hit and I’m SURE the birthday cake we’ve arranged to have at the hospital will go over well.

We are lucky to have a tight network of people to help juggle her over the next few days – we feel like it’s most important that her life doesn’t feel too upside down immediately, so she will be staying at the house with her Gigi at nights and heading to school each day.

Mommy got a pedicure on Saturday as part of the running around – and when I picked out the color I did so with the idea in mind that I had one at home that would match. Ember lives with a no frills mom – when I had on makeup for our maternity photos she kept saying “lipstick! Mommy has lipstick!” So she doesn’t see painted nails at home. Anytime she sees other women’s toenails painted she is sure to comment on them. So when I came home and showed her she immediately said “Mommy has pink toes! PINK!” I asked if she wanted pink toes too, and of course she said yes. After we got her toes done she asked Daddy if he wanted them too. “Daddy do you want pink toes?” He said “No thanks” and she stared at him incredulously for a minute and then said “Are you sure?”

It’s pretty cute and I see a lot of toenail painting in her future. She’s already asked for purple.

Last week at work was CRAZY trying to wrap everything up and on Wednesday, my coworkers had a baby shower for us. It was so sweet and I was able to invite my mom and Kevin’s mom to join in the celebration. My boss baked a cake from scratch (who does that anymore?) and helped to organize the whole thing. It was really great and I appreciated everyone for thinking of us.

In general, I think that knowing at least SOME of what’s coming is good and bad – of course it’s always different with every baby so I have no idea what will be similar and what will be different. But maybe that’s what has caused me some of my nervousness this time around. With Ember, all I knew was that I was ready for a big change. With Zora, all I know is that it’s going to BE a big change, so we’d better be ready!!